Perhaps Ashton Kutcher would be the best person to write this article, but we’re guessing he’s sitting drunk at some upscale bar in Sunset Boulevard to bother about anything else than the fact that his marriage with Demi Moore, several years senior to him, is about to end. But, if he were to dispense advice on this topic this is what he would say:
A young man assumes that the older woman comes with a set of past emotional baggage while the woman thinks the man is out to broaden his experience in the dating game. A relationship based on these assumptions cannot really even begin in earnest unless both partners can overcome such prejudices.
The 20-year-old guy will never understand why she is not interested in his favourite ‘Transformers’ series while she’ll wonder what is wrong with ABBA songs. And these are just examples from popular culture. At each step, overcoming the generation step can be an arduous task for both people without any solution in sight.
You may be in the relationship to score with the neighbourhood aunty and brag about it with your friends, but the aunty will have a whole set of reasons that she will never be able to talk about with you. This is because she feels you’re immature to understand her problems. Also, she doesn’t want to use you as a crutch, but rather as a tool. If you begin to fall for her, consider the affair doomed.
Not living up
Because of all her previous experiences, a woman is bound to look at her latest man with a little bit of exasperation. It is very difficult for the man to live up to the best standards of all her previous attachments, the yardstick by which she’s subconsciously judging him. The worst mistake the guy can make is defend himself by using his own young age as an excuse for his inexperience in dealing with issues in the relationship. It is important to broaden and hold that vision when you’re in a relationship with an older woman.
Remember how three best friends had to break their friendship when Akshaye Khanna confessed his love for a much older Dimple Kapadia in ‘Dil Chahta Hai’? The truth is that society judges us for all our relationship choices and dating an older woman is right at the top of the never-attempt-to-do list. Going down this road will only lead to social isolation and unless you’re strong enough to bear the jibes, you’ll become a wreck.
While not all May-November relationships turn into a wreck, it is important to know that most of them have a very slight chance of working, especially in a conservative society like India. It’s a minefield that needs careful navigation every waking second of your life.